@apples_and_pears I think about this a lot, and about how our figurative painting would appear to a distant viewer, wondering why we thought things looked that way... no theory here, I just wonder sometimes 😆
Objetivo é arrecadar recursos para programas de mitigação e adaptação às mudanças climáticas A deputada federal Sâmia Bomfim (PSOL-SP) apresentou, na última sexta-feira (4), um projeto de lei que cria taxas sobre voos em jatos privados e passagens em…
Ministro Giuli, show sul palco “Il nostro impegno per i giovani. Un aiuto ad aprire nuovi spazi“ Il dialogo con il sindaco Pardini, il patron D’Alessandro e il regista Calopresti sul mondo dell’arte e il suo rapporto con le istituzioni. Botta e risposta sul ruolo delle Soprintendenze e gli spettacoli.
The Witch Lights have achieved their final and best physical form! Last week the magical and very slightly cursed will-o-wisps invaded a small town on a hill in Vermont.
The installation was a huge success, and happily validated a new hardware design that radically simplifies installation and breakdown. And which also incorporates forged, cold steel stake hardware. Because the Fair Folk are attracted to loose magic. Like ants.
Trump regime ICE forces brutally attacked a man who screamed for help at a Walmart in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Walmart staff removed the witness filming, the employees were collaborating with ICE in covering up the incident. #3E #StopICE
Went from LineageOS 20 (Android 13) to LineageOS 22 (Android 15).
The Motorola G7 (river) was my phone a long time ago, but I gave it to my mother a few years back. She’s still happy with it, but since she was worried that updating would wipe everything, she hadn’t informed me that it was no longer receiving direct updates.
Today, I was able to sideload the update without her losing anything. All that worry for nothing. lol
NYT - Secretary of State Rubio, was overseeing a deal to free several Americans and dozens of political prisoners held in Venezuela in exchange for sending home about 250 Venezuelan migrants the US had deported to El Salvador. But the deal never happened. nytimes.com/2025/07/08/world/a…
The women we work with through the National Network of Incarcerated and Formerly Incarcerated Women and Girls often face immense barriers to obtaining a WWCC, even when their charges have nothing to do with children. Many who apply have convictions that stem from surviving poverty, violence, homelessness or substance use. These are routinely read by the system not as evidence of structural harm or survival, but as fixed indicators of unsuitability.
Criminalised women — especially Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women — already face steep hurdles when applying for a clearance after prison. The law treats a decades-old shoplifting charge, a survival response to domestic violence, or even the state-sanctioned removal of one’s own child as permanent red flags. These often result in women being denied a clearance and being issued a prohibition or negative notice.
its so messed up what they do to women, especially single mothers. Poverty is systemic violence, forced onto people. It isn't right to deny them a real chance at life and being with their families.
During Bush II's administration, I was asked to serve on a government advisory committee. There was a form asking our political affiliation—with the statement that by law, they could not require an answer, but they wanted to be able to show the press that they did not discriminate against Democrats. I declined to answer, and was still appointed. Someone else on the committee said that he answered "liberal Democrat"; he, too, was appointed. And this was during Bush's time! (I'll skip the details, but when I was asked to join another advisory committee when Obama took office there was even more evidence of honesty and respect for process.) mastodon.social/@arstechnica/1…
RFK Jr. barred registered Democrats from being vaccine advisors, lawsuit says The health department said Kennedy stands by his CDC reforms. arstechnica.com/health/2025/07…
"Bibi, Bibi you can't hide," the protestors chanted. "You've been charged with genocide."
Video by Ford Fischer of News2Share. Speeches begin at 15 minutes.
https://www.youtube.
: Meet your new national police force – CNN What Matters
: Meet your new national police force
By Zackary B. Wolf
The agency of mask-wearing officers who aren’t afraid to smash windows, detain lawmakers and pluck nonviolent undocumented immigrants off the street is about to become the best-funded federal police force.
Immigration and Customs Enforcement has already been acting with impunity during President Donald Trump’s second term.
Get used to ICE
Video of agents on horseback and in armored personnel vehicles in MacArthur Park in Los Angeles is striking both for its demonstration of militarized power and for the total inability of the city’s Mayor Karen Bass to do anything about it.
“They need to leave and they need to leave right now,” she told reporters on the scene Monday.
But Trump administration officials feel no need to listen to local authorities in a city like Los Angeles.
“Better get used to us now, because this going to be normal very soon,” El Centro Border Patrol Sector Chief Gregory Bovino told Fox News on Monday, responding to Bass.
That new normal may come as a shock to Americans unused to a federal national police force operating inside the country.
The megabill Trump signed last week will elevate ICE in the American consciousness and on American streets.
A flood of cash
ICE will have more funding in the coming years than any other federal law enforcement agency, according to Aaron Reichlin-Melnick, senior fellow at pro-immigrant American Immigration Council.
The new law allocates $75 billion for ICE through 2029 to order as many as 10,000 new agents and to build detention facilities for more than 100,000 additional people.
“It makes ICE a higher-funded law enforcement agency than the entire FBI, ATF, DEA, US Marshals Service and Bureau of Prisons combined,” Reichlin-Melnick explained, after averaging that $75 billion across the next four years, more than doubling ICE’s budget in each of those years.
A new part of American life
With all that money and the OK to hire new agents, ICE will become even more visible.
“Most people in the United States are going to experience immigration enforcement for the first time in their lives,” predicted David Bier, director of immigration studies at the libertarian-leaning Cato Institute.
The spectacle will be the point
The future Bier foresees looks like this:
“US citizens being interrogated on the streets about their citizenships; ICE agents in apartment buildings knocking down doors; National Guard troops on the streets blocking traffic. At your workplace, your home, your neighborhood, your park, in a very visible way and intentionally so,” he said.
Making raids and actions as visible as possible may be designed to scare immigrants out of the country and deter anyone who might otherwise come.
Bier also anticipates a “mad dash to spend all of this money in the next three years,” before the next presidential election.
No longer primarily targeting violent criminals
Already, the pace and intensity of ICE’s actions have increased.
There was a major spike in the number of ICE arrests in June, to more than 34,000, according to data compiled by the Syracuse University immigration researcher Austin Kocher. At the same time, the number of detentions has risen to more than 50,000.
The profile of the detained population has also changed, according to Kocher. When Trump took office, most detainees had a criminal conviction. Now, a third of detainees may have only a civil immigration violation.
And most of the arrests are taking place inside the country rather than at the border, according to Kocher.
Corners will have to be cut
As ICE begins a hiring and construction frenzy, look for mistakes to be made, according to Garrett Graff, who has written about a similar effort to quickly tighten border security with new border agents after 9/11. At that time, agencies, including ICE, were reorganized under the now-massive Department of Homeland Security.
“What happens when a law enforcement agency at any level grows too rapidly is well-documented,” he wrote in his Doomsday Scenario newsletter. “Hiring standards fall, training is cut short, field training officers end up being too inexperienced to do the right training, and supervisors are too green to know how to enforce policies and procedures well.”
There were ultimately stories about corruption and agents recruited by drug cartels.
Now there could be “a tidal wave of applicants who are specifically attracted by the rough-em-up, masked secret police tactics, no-holds-barred lawlessness that ICE has pursued since January,” Graff wrote.
ICE agents operate outside of the normal judicial system
Immigration enforcement is not criminal law enforcement, which means agents don’t have to adhere to the standards of FBI agents or local law enforcement.
“You get an agency which is primarily oriented at non-citizens, but also authorized to arrest citizens at the same time for certain violations of law,” Reichlin-Melnick said.
ICE agents have also operated intentionally in anonymity, an adjustment for anyone who expects law enforcement to identify themselves.
The masks frequently worn by agents make ICE seem like the type of secret police that operates in authoritarian regimes. But they are apparently meant to protect agents from doxxing.
“I’m sorry if people are offended by them wearing masks, but I’m not going to let my officers and agents go out there and put their lives on the line, and their family on the line, because people don’t like what immigration enforcement is,” said ICE Acting Director Todd Lyons during a press conference in Boston in June.
Trump officials also seem ready to arrest local officials if it comes to that. Border czar Tom Homan said anyone, including local and state elected officials, could be arrested by ICE.
“You can protest if you want; you have that First Amendment right,” he told CNN’s Kaitlan Collins in June. “But when you cross the line of putting your hands on an ICE officer, impeding our enforcement operations, knowingly harboring and concealing illegal alien, that’s a crime.”
ICE will also begin looking to detain and deport people who committed no crime. Entering the US illegally is a civil offense, which is certainly deportable. But the Trump administration has also moved to remove the legal status of literally millions of migrants, according to Bier.
It has moved to revoke temporary protective status for multiple groups of migrants from Central and South America, including Cubans, Venezuelans, Haitians and Nicaraguans.
The Trump administration is now primed to turbocharge efforts to denaturalize, or take citizenship away from, people who immigrated legally to the US.
Bier said the administration will continue looking for new groups to deport.
“The idea that they will ever be satisfied with the number of deportations I think is just preposterous,” he said.
LA Times: ICE leaves cars abandoned, lawn mowers running when it arrests workers: A new push to secure property
"...One local police department has announced it will attempt to return abandoned property, such as vehicles and work equipment, to relatives of those detained by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents. .."
Santa Ana police announced it would attempt to return abandoned property, such as vehicles and work equipment, to relatives of those detained by federal agents.
Trump sent his masked #ICE goons protected by "90 National Guard troops", "over a dozen military vehicles" including "17 Humvees, four tactical vehicles, two ambulances", & agents on horseback to LA's mostly empty MacArthur Park July 7th, a Monday, in the middle of the work day. "officers on horseback and soldiers in tactical gear walking past a playground as children at a summer day camp were rushed indoors so they would not be traumatized" is a crazy sentence to read. apnews.com/article/what-happen…
Billionaire Dies After Swallowing a Bee During Polo Match By Luis Prada June 17, 2025, 2:40pm What people are saying Commenters mourn the loss of "Comrade Bee," who died after being swallowed by a billionaire during a polo match. Many praise the bee's sacrifice, likening it to a heroic act against the wealthy elite. Others lament the loss of a valuable pollinator and express admiration for the bee's apparent targeting of the billionaire.
#Israeli plan for forced transfer of #Gaza’s population a blueprint for #crimes against humanity
#Israel’s defence minister laid out plans to force all #Palestinians in Gaza into a camp on ruins of #Rafah; scheme legal experts, academics described as blueprint for #CrimesAgainstHumanity
Palestinians would go through security screening before entering. Once inside they are not allowed to leave. #Prisons
Happy Hour News 🎵 "Only a nobody walks in L.A." 🎶 Whatever he’s having, I’ll have a double. (Does anyone think Possum Hollar believes this? I mean other than the 4th Reich will rule with an iron fist until the end of time.)
Happy Hour News 🎵 “Only a nobody walks in L.A.” 🎶 Whatever he’s having, I’ll have a double. (Does anyone think Possum Hollar believes this? I mean other than the 4th Reich will rule wit…
My maga b-i-l who grew up in Brooklyn, lives within commuting distance of NYC, and watches so much Fox that their "Breaking News Alert" graphic is permanently burned into the lower left corner of the tv screen, gets almost panic-stricken when my visiting husband and son head into Manhattan in broad daylight: "It's not safe! Don't get the subway! Don't walk anywhere!" So yes, can confirm.
This post by @aphyr I think really captures the staggering evil of a non-trivial swath of the LLM world right now. Perhaps they don't see themselves as evil, but what they are doing is deliberately undermining all social and cultural norms for ... what? A few extra sales? Burn the world to the ground for ... a few bucks?
I realize that we have many other Big Evils in the world, but when I say that the only winners with gen AI, along with blockchain, bitcoin, and all other recent VC-bloviated ilk is criminals and sociopaths, this is what I mean. What that says about VCs is up to you to determine.
Kyle is more introspective than I am here. What i see is the wholesale willing destruction of trust and society for... well, certainly nothing beneficial.
This is what I think of every time someone tells me "gen AI is the future". Perhaps it is, but that future is bleak and desolate. It is soulless and cruel and confidently stupid. It aspires to bland mediocrity.
Keep it. There is no "upside" that could ever justify this total obliteration of good in the world. Your talking parrot drips venom from it's beak with every word it speaks.
Just as Canter & Siegel contributed mightily* to the collapse of UseNet with the first real case of mass spam, and exploited a system of trust, that's what this is doing. Spray painting their vulgar spittle across the public square with hopes of garnering a few extra dimes.
* I was at Sprint at the time and remember the hammer that got dropped being "nuclear" by the standards of the time. Now it's quaint. In retrospect, we should have done so much more, but I don't think anyone imagined it would ever get THIS bad. And for as bad as you think it is, it's 1,000,000x worse than that.
Weird historical detail. Sprint was covered by common carrier regulations which our legal team basically interpreted as we couldn’t block anything based on content (simplified). We had a lot of emergency meetings to be able to shut down C&S. We had to establish they were causing reliability problems. A bit of a stretch to be honest, but… we did pull the plug.
Two Horses in a Meadow near a Gate, Paulus Potter, 1649 Two horses stand on a little rise before a sweeping meadow landscape with cattle. The town of Delft is visible in the distance. The animals’ fluttering tails and manes, and the low-lying clouds, signal that the weather is raw and windy. Potter enhances the liveliness of the depiction by placing the grey horse before a dark boscage and the chestnut horse before a light, cloud-filled sky.
Satellite observation of the imbalance between incoming and outgoing radiation in the atmosphere, which causes global warming, shows growth beyond what climate models have predicted.
It's day 4 of my 10 day video challenge! No one answered yesterday's question, so the prize has rolled over. Be the fist to answer today's question and win 50% off an item of your choice from Unstoppable Spirit Creations !
And please come out to see us at the markets this Saturday. I'll be at the Devon downtown market and Burgandy will be at the Tails on the Trails market in St. Albert.
Profitez des vidéos et de la musique que vous aimez, mettez en ligne des contenus originaux, et partagez-les avec vos amis, vos proches et le monde entier.
A friend of mine has a parent with Alzheimer’s, and they’ve had to walk them through problems and hiccups related to their tablet, which naturally has problems and hiccups because that’s how it is with complex #technology.
And it got me thinking:
Whatever happened to videophones? Like, just phones, but with video, that does nothing else? For audio communications, we had wired phones, cordless phones, and super-basic cell phones that did ONE JOB (making voice calls) and did it extremely reliably, with no failure modes more complicated than “it’s physically broken, buy another one”. Why don’t we have the equivalent of that simple appliance, but for VIDEO CALLING?
My dad has a smartphone solely to make video calls with family, and because of that he has to deal with all the complexity associated with a general-purpose computing device, which he does not need.
The barrier of entry into video calling is too high. We need a single-use appliance.
This year we’ve seen Mariposa lilies. They don’t always bloom but they grow from bulbs that can live for over 30 years. Hard to grow in a garden, I’m told.
The bulbs were once a staple in the diet of many indigenous people in this part of North America. #bloomscrolling
This feels like it is getting out of hand. At what point does it stop being silly? Not only do I have fungi and plants, but now also a duck? Is this a normal pupation? Do I need a referral to see a professional caterpillar?
I don't mind being an ecosystem, but they're in my dreams now too. Are gestalt beings entitled to any sort of inter-node boundaries?
I just keep finding new specimens everywhere. I suppose biodiversity is a good thing. At least some of them grow eyes and seem to be able to track novel things happening. I'm not really sure what I'm pupating into? But I feel a duty to see it through. For science!
And also to figure out how to not harm my friends with pollen allergies. That's important to me.
Also, I hit my character limit with the alt text so here's the first part of it:
A mirror selfie of this enby wearing a cropped tank. You can see one part of their torso tattoo and some of the features of their arm tattoo. They're wearing their non-binary pendant as well as a necklace with a hoop supporting various short dangling chains that end in a sharp point. Their curly hair has deteriorated to waves as new plants and fungi have grown in.
The glow-in-the-dark blue duck is on their right side now, supervised by a non-googly-eyed toadstool. There are two additional toadstools with googly eyes looking at the viewer on either side of the brunette haired head. You see a pink clover on one side and a spring beauty on the other. In the center there is a daisy facing forward-ish, and a pink and blue leafed plant with googly eyes also staring into the soul of the viewer. A new addition is a pink-capped toadstool emerging sideways from underneath the hair around temple height.
Behind their shoulder, on the right of the frame, you see fronds of a blue and pink plant of some sort growing into view. Lower on the collar of the top is a plant with small green leaves and a bulbous fruit of an orange-red coloration. It looks like it might burst with fire if shit with an arrow. A red and yellow leafed plant is emerging from the upper part of the breast from behind their top. It has gained a googly eye on one of the leaves that is now trained on the viewer. Immediately above this is a new plant emerging. Its leaves turn white as the tip of the stem ends in a daffodil-like pattern.
Attached: 1 image
I was foolish to feel it was getting out of hand last time: https://lgbtqia.space/@h3mmy/114775241546992596
:blobcat_thisisfine:
#NonBinary #Mushroom #Selfie #SillySaturday #GooglyEyes #GoodBadScience #ContemplatingPupation
WASHINGTON—Insisting that he deserved a place alongside the iconic visages of the auto supply company’s founders, President Donald Trump issued an executive order Tuesday adding his face to the Pep Boys logo.
In this post I am going to try and explain some aspects of how I conceptualize #kink.
For this to be effective, I want to also explain some terms I use, and how I use them. A shared dictionary is a fundamental piece of successful communication of nuance.
~~Intimacy is a form of closeness at a deep level. Like two onions touching each other, maybe in a box vs the unpeeled cores of two onions cuddling up together. Maybe not the best analogy. But it's better than imagining fitting both your eyeballs into the same socket (What is wrong with me?)~~
#Intimacy is a form of closeness. To get a better idea of what I mean, here's a post I wrote recently to clarify what I mean when I refer to intimacy.
Sensual is used to describe certain experiences. A quick trip to the pedantry corner says that technically all our experiences are sensual because we're using our senses. When I say sensual, I mean actively engaging the senses with intention. Really savoring the experience. Like standing atop a hill feeling the wind gently stroking your skin, observing how your skin reacts, and the different streaks of tingles and nociception. Really savoring the experience of it. Appreciating the subtle notes of whispers in the wind. Hints of wildflowers mixed with soil.
One can argue that there is a degree of intimacy involved in sensuality, and that makes sense. I'm loosing my guard to appreciate the breeze, I'm adjusting my hearing to attune to the breath of nature, leaving myself open and exposed to nature and trusting that the experience will be worthwhile. It's not sexual, it's not romantic, it's just sensual.
#Erotic is another term, literally based on a god of lust, passion, desire and mischief. The crux of this is desire, but a consuming sort. Like I'm dying of thirst in a desert, happening upon an oasis, stumbling in my frenzy to reach the water, passionately reuniting it with my body, savoring the echoes of sweet relief down to my bone. This is just an illustrative example. I want to make a point to distinguish erotic from the sexual and the sensual as they are all different things. Each can have different degrees of intimacy dynamics. Intimacy is independent, yet a fundamental aspect
My previous example for #sensual is actually a little erotic. I'm immersed in it to a degree of near spiritual fulfillment. The erotic is often sensual, but the sensual is not always erotic. The erotic is often profoundly intimate as well.
Okay, now that I've gone through some of the tricky terms, I am going to start illustrating some concepts around "non-sexual" kink. Thanks to @kasdeya for her really helpful line of questioning that aided me in figuring out what pieces might be good to address first.
> I think the main thing that I’m having trouble understanding is the concept of nonsexual kink. it sounds like this might be a kind of playful exploration of things like physical sensations (like pain) or of being {restrained or made helpless} for its own sake. so I’m guessing that there isn’t necessarily any sexual arousal involved in nonsexual kink. I would be interested to know if the presence of sexual arousal in a kink scene would make it count as sexual (rather than nonsexual) kink for you or if it’s only the presence of sexual activity that would put it into that category. and also (this may be too personal of a question) how you would feel knowing that a kink partner was sexually aroused during a scene with you. I guess I wonder if that might be uncomfortable to know, in the same way that it might be during a non-kink-related activity. I think that would help me understand where the borders are between sexual and nonsexual kink
@kasdeya is spot on with the playful exploration. Kink is a type of play. Humans love to play, it's one of the fundamental ways we learn, bond, and explore. If I'm an arbitrary rope bottom: Maybe I want to be tied up for the sensory experience, and maybe I want to be locked and restrained like the suffocating system we're trapped in, and once the bonds are undone, I can emerge with fewer restraints to my potential in the world. In that sense it takes on a deeper layer of vulnerability and trust. A ritual to help harmonize the mind, body, and rich inner world.
Impact, fire, electro, sensory, needle, knife, wax, latex, etc. These are all types of play. Sexual component not required. What if we just wanted to play some games? Bound hands holding a candle full to the brim. Is a light feather enough to cause a spillage? What about a wartenberg wheel? How about a game of chess? My moves will be executed by my voice controlled drone whose arms are tied to its chest like T-Rex arms. These scenes lack sexual components altogether, but I imagine people would still call it kink, right?
Now, sexual components can be added easily. Feathers can be run over erogenous zones, vibrators too. Who knows what kind of chipset is inserted in the drone? Maybe I left something in the debug port by mistake.
I hope that helps illustrate that there is a distinction between sexual and non-sexual kink. Let's try exploring some #boundaries.
You asked if the presence of sexual arousal changes the category. I would say it depends. If I'm enjoying a casual tabletop game in public with a friend or two, and they get sexually aroused, are we now playing a sexy board game? Arousal also disregards intention and desire which are also important elements. I think perspective also matters. It could be a sexy game of whatever we're playing for the person who is aroused and full of desire. And for clueless me, it's just a fun activity time with pals. If I am also aware of what's going on, then it could change what we label it.
For kink scenes, I try to establish some baseline boundaries. One of my default ones is that I won't do sexual play, but I might be open to renegotiating at a later point. This communicates that I do not have any sexual intention at the time, and I expect that the other parties will not engage me in any sexual play without talking about it first.
This helps segue into answering the next part of the question about what if the other party is sexually aroused. This by itself is not bothersome to me. Kink is intimate. If I'm binding someone in rope, I'm increasing their vulnerability and caretaking it throughout. I'm adjusting my touch based on their preferences and what makes sense to me from an artistic perspective. Soft touch, light touch, deep touch, and most people want more so I'll adjust my techniques to increase the touch while tying and untying. For some, I'll adjust the pull throughs to create little whips to add a zing for contrast. I'm tying things in and around sensitive parts, carefully, mindfully, tenderly, but not sexually, and not even erotically unless we've discussed it beforehand.
Given this intimate context, the closeness, and sensual aspects, it can be arousing for a lot of people. Just like if they're getting a massage. Relaxing into touch and sensation while vulnerable. They're not being weird about it, they're not being creepy, they're maintaining the negotiated boundaries and not dragging any sexual intent or context into the scene. I've had some rope bottoms tell me when an area is _too_ arousing or if they interpret touch in a certain area as sexual, and I highly appreciate that so I can avoid those triggers. Like the inner thigh. For some people it's sexual, for some people it's sensual. If it's sexual for someone and I need to get rope through there I can do it without actually touching with any part of my body, or I can have the bottom do it if practical. Respecting that sexual boundary. This sort of dynamic and communication applies across all types of kink scenes, I'm just using rope as my example because it's usually fresh in my brain.
So if something like a humiliation scene with impact and wax is sexual for someone, this should be part of the negotiations. I don't do sexual scenes by default and this filters out play partners for whom kink is always sexual because if there's no play we can do that is non-sexual then we clearly aren't compatible. Because I'm at events a lot, people who are curious can watch, and they'll better be able to see the dynamic. Sometimes this alone helps them reframe the elements involved and they can interpret kink in separate sexual and non-sexual dimensions. I have a couple of play partners for which this was the route, and they like that the scenes with me helped them broaden their perspective on kink knowing that it doesn't have to be centered around sexual charge.
I'm getting close to the character limit now, which maybe makes this my longest post. Hopefully people are able to read it and engage in some discussions that will help me figure out how to structure my next post.
Please note that this conceptualization is merely one perspective and I'm certainly not an authority of any kind (unless that's what we negotiated)
As thorough and thoughtful as I expected 😊 This is an excellent explanation of the way you approach the subject(s)! I *especially* love the Shrek take on intimacy 😁 It’s like an onion, it’s got layers 😉
Another aspect comes to mind reading all this, would you say that in non-sexual kink there is always affection? Or maybe in the way *you* specifically practice it? The way you express a top’s position is always very affectionate.
😹 "The Shrek Take" 🧅 "_Its got layers_" I'm glad you liked it. It came out of my sleep deprived brain and I chose to strikethough but leave it in because I was tickled.
Is there always affection in non-sexual kink? That's a really good question.
> Affection: a gentle feeling of fondness or liking.
You're right that I am full of affection for my play partners, friends, peeps, etc. I do regulate my expression of it based on communicated boundaries and preferences.
I imagine there's probably some degree of affection for other people engaged in kinky play, but I do want to be careful to not project my perception onto others. People play for different reasons and I imagine they like it at some level, but their play may not necessarily require interpersonal affection. At least not to whatever threshold we use for calling someone or something affectionate.
So, I would say that in my kink scenes there tends to be some degree of affection because of who I am as a person. This is true even for scenes that involve sort of "harsher" play involving sadism or degradation. At a minimum the aftercare will definitely involve affection.
I want to say this is true more generally, but I don't want to generalize too much. People are diverse and I might be missing some aspects that I simply don't have as much experience with.
re: Discussion of words, kink, and non-sexual kink
Sensitive content
I'd consider care to require a little bit of affection in any case, wouldn't you? My understanding is also that aftercare is part and parcel of kink and cannot be bypassed. Wouldn't that mean that kink (at least for a successful and ethical scene) require affectionate people, to a varying degree? (That might start to be a bit semantics for its own sake at this point )
re: Discussion of words, kink, and non-sexual kink
@jul I don't know if I would necessarily equate care and affection. It's possible to care for and about someone/something without having fondness for them. Surgeons do this all the time, for instance.
Aftercare is important in my opinion. It's a fundamental aspect of a dynamic. What this consists of and what the needs are is hashed out during negotiations. There are instances where it can be bypassed once all parties agree to it.
A common scenario is with service tops. I volunteered as a service top for a recent pride themed rope jam. Lots of people new to rope, wanting to experience being tied but not having a rope top to do so. It's like leaving a bunch of puppies and kittens out in the rain, how can I not volunteer?
Anyway, part of the negotiation sheet set by the coordinator noted that aftercare would not be a guarantee, or more specifically, a service top would not be under compulsion to offer aftercare. This could be overridden at the tops discretion during negotiations.
There are a lot of factors at work here, and this is actually a sensible thing. The caveat is that you want responsible scene tops whose judgement is very trustworthy.
I want to start with a breakdown of aftercare, what it is, why it's important, etc. I think that should be my next post.
Instead, I'll start backwards. Most responsible play spaces use RACK or PRICK frameworks.
A quick note: the different frameworks choose to emphasize different sets of things but this doesn't mean they exclude other concepts.
Much of kink play involves some level of risk. It's a vulnerable space emotionally and physically. RACK requires all parties to understand the risks involved and consent to accepting those risks as well as everything else that is going into a scene. There's a personal responsibility element to this that is implied but made more explicit in PRICK.
With rope, there are risks of marks, bruises, blood flow issues, nerve compression, emotional stuff, trauma responses, etc. Different scenes will have different amounts of risk involved and all parties should understand the specifics during negotiations. And tailor the scene to the specific risk tolerance involved. Like if rope marks on arms are not acceptable, then you don't tie the arms, etc.
Now, here's how an event like this one goes from my perspective:
It's noisy, lots of people, many inexperienced aspiring rope bottoms that are eager to get rope on them. I have my mask on making it difficult to speak clearly some of the time. I have earplugs in because I have sensitive hearballs. In many ways this is like pickup play except faster because I'm already designated as someone that can be approached instead of someone working up the nerve to do so, which means more people. I have to explain risks, understand their risk tolerance, preferences, boundaries, etc and make it seamless with the tying experience, while simultaneously evaluating their micro reactions, sensory responses, and keeping an eye on anyone I've tied up so far that wanted to keep rope on them while they wander around.
I have a shortlist for these situations, and I will only use minimal risk ties with people I haven't worked with before. Like what I should call them, pronouns, anywhere rope can't go, what is okay to touch and not, any medications that can affect blood flow, nerve response, or balance, etc. I'll usually start with figuring out where they want rope to be and what level of restrictiveness they're looking for, and get more specific as needed. One of my ties was a fisherman's harness, she wanted arms in front, functional touch, and no known issues with rope marks or medical issues that would impact the scene. During the tie, while making conversation, I get to sneak in questions to gauge certain risks. Like if someone does a lot of stuff associated with carpal tunnel risk, I'll adjust the tie so that the band that goes around the inner elbow takes a detour to the waist strap to keep pressure off the nerve. I also dynamically check for preferences by just doing frequent but specific check-ins especially for people I haven't worked with much.
I also make the ties easy to escape in this sort of environment in case someone needs to get rope off fast or they panic, etc. This specific person wanted a challenge escaping. She didn't tell me until after, else I could have used one of the escape experience ties I've been workshopping.
She had a good experience, no sinking into feelings, barely any rope bite, and she had a partner along with that would help with reintegrating based on what I picked up about their dynamic. In this instance I didn't evaluate a specific need for aftercare but I do like to check in with people anyway. She didn't express any aftercare needs, but new rope bottoms seldom know what they might need. Usually I'll also do a check in a few days after but I didn't have any way to do that in this case either.
I'm using this example to illustrate a case where it makes sense to not have specific aftercare.
Now, if I was doing a more involved tie, or someone got rope burn, or maybe skin breakage, or they seemed to have some emotions come up during the tie, that I detected, I would be doing aftercare to some degree. Sometimes things like bruises (both physical and emotional) don't show up for a couple of days, so I have a routine of checking in after a few days as a follow up. The one person this was relevant for was able to quickly find me on FetLife and re-affirmed they didn't have any unmet aftercare needs.
One can argue that just the fact I was checking in was aftercare and that is true, but aftercare is a two-way thing. It's not just for the scene bottoms. That whole spiel of mine is probably more suited for a follow up explanation of aftercare.
I think my point was that aftercare can be bypassed under certain circumstances like an event with service tops that are balancing logistics around tying up a lot of new people in a span of time.
re: Discussion of words, kink, and non-sexual kink
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First and foremost, thank you for yet another character limit busting magnum opus! Second of all, I reserve the right to use "hearballs" profusely from now on!
Your points make perfect sense to me and add a good lot of helpful context.
I think your parallel with healthcare is especially apt, and a source of some dissonance in my comparison between care and affection. And given your examples, I think this could be explained by a context being (or feeling like) a job.
Healthcare tasks can feel a lot different if you do them as part of your job or for a loved one. They're still the same work, but not a job anymore. This seems to be somewhat similar with kink, where circumstances can make it feel a bit more impersonal, and so less affectionate. Even if this is a hobby and you do it gladly, doing an event can feel like a job. The same person could naturally be a lot more affectionate in scenes that just simply allow for it.
re: Discussion of words, kink, and non-sexual kink
@jul You get me monologuing! And please, use "hearballs", people have started using it more around me and it makes me giddy for no discernible reason
Being or feeling like a "job" can be a good analogy for some people. I don't know that it's fully transferrable though. I suppose it is what amount of affection fits within professional boundaries, and that is job specific. I digress, you're right that it changes the context.
I have some difficult memories while I was helping with eldercare but it still holds true that it's a different set of feelings compared to when you're doing it for a job.
I understand where you're coming from with events feeling like a job. That descriptor will hold for a lot of people. For me, the fact that it's work doesn't especially reduce things. I might feel different if I was doing pro work.
It's also possible to have deep affection and still maintain an impersonal scene. One of my routine negotiation questions is "How do you want to feel during the scene". This can be anything. Some people want to feel like a trophy, some want to feel helpless, someone may want to feel powerful, etc. I have scene bottom(s) that like to feel "a bit disregarded", so the impersonal affect is baked into the scene, even though I have a lot of affection for them.
Having affection and limiting its expression is different than having little affection and little expression. I typically won't work with people in that second category, but I might if it was a professional thing. I hope that makes sense, I know I'm probably a bit scattered.
Also, to avoid accidentally messaging how events are, the pride rope event was a different setting than something like one of the private play parties I also attend. Event like vibe, and occasionally involves pickup play, but I'm often working with a base set of people I already know and some potential new ones. And aftercare is part of it as well, but again it's different per person. And some get enough attention during the tie that they don't feel the emotional let down that can happen after an intimate scene. For context, sometimes I'll have a "collection" of tied up people in a cuddle puddle while I either work on someone else while keeping an eye on them or doing a different type of combo scene. Often it's sensory additions. Most people don't want to feel discarded after a scene even if being discarded is their kink. That goes for tops too, just to re-emphasize that aftercare is not one-way.
re: Discussion of words, kink, and non-sexual kink
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I see, this is another fine example of a true expert's answer to a seemingly simple and clear cut question: "it depends" There's no *one definitive* anything to any aspect of kink in the end. And I also think we've reach the end of the usefulness of 1:1 analogies... Especially since there can be an "acting" aspect to kink that obfuscates the feelings and preferences of the "actor" behind the apparence and behavior of the "character"
re: Discussion of words, kink, and non-sexual kink
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@jul 💯 You nailed it in my opinion! I really appreciate your active questions and discussions. It gives me an opportunity to reflect on some angles I may not have actively thought about as much.
Bonus: The "Shrek Take" Translation Much like an onion, the dynamic inside the scene boundaries and outside the scene boundaries can be different, and the entities have the internal vs expressed layers which are like those onion cores.
absolutely to all of that, have had sessions that move in and out of all of the different axis at times, ropes that send me away to a safe space or ground me in the moment as a rigger and bunny, had impact play where there was almost disinterest(but still care) to intensely sexual for one or both parties.
Hi, complete newb here, sorry if this is a dumb question: would you consider ASMR (whether audible or visual) to fall under the kink umbrella? It tends to be very intimate (and intentionally arousing in a sensory way) but also often very distinctly *not* sexual (though some ASMRs incorporate that, too). I have no prior touchstones in this space but I want to try to understand and relate it to something I'm familiar with!
@liese That is a great question! I'm not one to gatekeep labels, but I would certainly classify it as being in the kink space as a form of sensory play.
It's something I've considered folding into my 1-1 scenes. Events are too noisy for it usually.
It's interesting that people talk a lot about non-sexual kink, but rarely about non-kinky sex or maybe i just follow a lot of asexual kinksters
I think for a lot of people the sorts of things that are explored through kink are also part of sex, and they haven't thought about it. (I know that it took me a while to realise that questions of power were necessary for me to enjoy sex)
@Dangerous_beans I'm glad that you have a set of people that are already able to think of kink without imparting sexual context to it by default. My experience has been quite different though.
I find that breaking down the components helps people understand the boundaries of the concepts. Sure, sex can also be intimate, sensual, and erotic, but intimacy, sensuality and eroticism is considered sexual by default in allonormative society and it's kind of a struggle to clarify these concepts for people who have never thought about them in non-sexual contexts.
very vague references to sexual kink re: Discussion of words, kink, and non-sexual kink
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this was such an interesting read, and I’m so glad that I was able to help you with this post! I think this clears up all of my confusion beautifully, and I especially loved the examples. I think I can clearly picture what “nonsexual kink as play” means now
your distinction between erotic and sensual was very interesting and helpful too. as someone who exclusively engages in sexual kink (at least for now. this post has me fairly interested in nonsexual kink now, which is a whole world of experiences that I couldn’t even conceptualize until this post) I think these two terms are fantastic to have in my vocabulary just so that I can label aspects of my experiences and conceptualize them in a more granular way. for example I really like to play with desire: putting myself in a headspace where my entire being is focused on how much I want something - whatever that thing might be - so that I can have an intensely erotic thrill from finally getting it
also I wanted to ask: you ended this post by mentioning another one that you have planned. have you posted that yet? if so I would love the link (though it will probably still take me a really long time to reply - sorry about that 😓) and if not I would love if you could @ me once it’s done
very vague references to sexual kink re: Discussion of words, kink, and non-sexual kink
I'm really glad that it helped clarify things. And I'm grateful for your excellent questions.
One time I was in a rope jam that had a pre--jam roundtable about connective rope. Someone was going through the different types of touch. While I had already kept erotic, sensual, and sexual separate in my head, it was one of the first times I heard other people also defining them as separate. My internal explanation was that they are different colors and different sets of textures in my "feelings brain" and that's difficult to translate. It was very validating and helped give me language to express _why_ they're distinct. I do highly recommend experimenting with different types of non-sexual play. I'd love to hear how it goes from your perspective too, if/when it does and your willing to share 🫶🏽
I hope to write more things soon. Life things have been keeping me busy this week. I can definitely @ you then too. Please feel free to take whatever time you want to respond. I don't expect fast responses with most things from anyone.
@jul I don't know if I would necessarily equate care and affection. It's possible to care for and about someone/something without having fondness for them. Surgeons do this all the time, for instance.
Aftercare is important in my opinion. It's a fundamental aspect of a dynamic. What this consists of and what the needs are is hashed out during negotiations. There are instances where it can be bypassed once all parties agree to it.
A common scenario is with service tops. I volunteered as a service top for a recent pride themed rope jam. Lots of people new to rope, wanting to experience being tied but not having a rope top to do so. It's like leaving a bunch of puppies and kittens out in the rain, how can I not volunteer?
Anyway, part of the negotiation sheet set by the coordinator noted that aftercare would not be a guarantee, or more specifically, a service top would not be under compulsion to offer aftercare. This could be overridden at the tops discretion during negotiations.
There are a lot of factors at work here, and this is actually a sensible thing. The caveat is that you want responsible scene tops whose judgement is very trustworthy.
I want to start with a breakdown of aftercare, what it is, why it's important, etc. I think that should be my next post.
Instead, I'll start backwards. Most responsible play spaces use RACK or PRICK frameworks.
A quick note: the different frameworks choose to emphasize different sets of things but this doesn't mean they exclude other concepts.
Much of kink play involves some level of risk. It's a vulnerable space emotionally and physically. RACK requires all parties to understand the risks involved and consent to accepting those risks as well as everything else that is going into a scene. There's a personal responsibility element to this that is implied but made more explicit in PRICK.
With rope, there are risks of marks, bruises, blood flow issues, nerve compression, emotional stuff, trauma responses, etc. Different scenes will have different amounts of risk involved and all parties should understand the specifics during negotiations. And tailor the scene to the specific risk tolerance involved. Like if rope marks on arms are not acceptable, then you don't tie the arms, etc.
Now, here's how an event like this one goes from my perspective:
It's noisy, lots of people, many inexperienced aspiring rope bottoms that are eager to get rope on them. I have my mask on making it difficult to speak clearly some of the time. I have earplugs in because I have sensitive hearballs. In many ways this is like pickup play except faster because I'm already designated as someone that can be approached instead of someone working up the nerve to do so, which means more people. I have to explain risks, understand their risk tolerance, preferences, boundaries, etc and make it seamless with the tying experience, while simultaneously evaluating their micro reactions, sensory responses, and keeping an eye on anyone I've tied up so far that wanted to keep rope on them while they wander around.
I have a shortlist for these situations, and I will only use minimal risk ties with people I haven't worked with before. Like what I should call them, pronouns, anywhere rope can't go, what is okay to touch and not, any medications that can affect blood flow, nerve response, or balance, etc. I'll usually start with figuring out where they want rope to be and what level of restrictiveness they're looking for, and get more specific as needed. One of my ties was a fisherman's harness, she wanted arms in front, functional touch, and no known issues with rope marks or medical issues that would impact the scene. During the tie, while making conversation, I get to sneak in questions to gauge certain risks. Like if someone does a lot of stuff associated with carpal tunnel risk, I'll adjust the tie so that the band that goes around the inner elbow takes a detour to the waist strap to keep pressure off the nerve. I also dynamically check for preferences by just doing frequent but specific check-ins especially for people I haven't worked with much.
I also make the ties easy to escape in this sort of environment in case someone needs to get rope off fast or they panic, etc. This specific person wanted a challenge escaping. She didn't tell me until after, else I could have used one of the escape experience ties I've been workshopping.
She had a good experience, no sinking into feelings, barely any rope bite, and she had a partner along with that would help with reintegrating based on what I picked up about their dynamic. In this instance I didn't evaluate a specific need for aftercare but I do like to check in with people anyway. She didn't express any aftercare needs, but new rope bottoms seldom know what they might need. Usually I'll also do a check in a few days after but I didn't have any way to do that in this case either.
I'm using this example to illustrate a case where it makes sense to not have specific aftercare.
Now, if I was doing a more involved tie, or someone got rope burn, or maybe skin breakage, or they seemed to have some emotions come up during the tie, that I detected, I would be doing aftercare to some degree. Sometimes things like bruises (both physical and emotional) don't show up for a couple of days, so I have a routine of checking in after a few days as a follow up. The one person this was relevant for was able to quickly find me on FetLife and re-affirmed they didn't have any unmet aftercare needs.
One can argue that just the fact I was checking in was aftercare and that is true, but aftercare is a two-way thing. It's not just for the scene bottoms. That whole spiel of mine is probably more suited for a follow up explanation of aftercare.
I think my point was that aftercare can be bypassed under certain circumstances like an event with service tops that are balancing logistics around tying up a lot of new people in a span of time.
This is why I think voters were full of shit when they said their number one issue in 2024 was the cost of living. A lot of them voted exactly for this.
And by the way anyone who supports this is evil.
Alligator Alcatraz detainees allege inhumane conditions at immigration detention center - CBS Miami cbsnews.com/miami/news/alligat…
I hope I like Ali Smith, because her other titles (I have Gliff) are fantastic. Is fantastolic really a word, auto-suggest? No? Yay, a new word is born.
I dislike doing this with every fiber of my being but I need help. I’m not doing well. Things keep getting worse with my health in general and my abusers behavior. Setting boundaries gives her something to break. I’m getting to the end of as much as I can handle.
I haven’t been able to contribute and my girlfriend is saving as much as she can. We need enough for travel, and a place to live.
Update: Any help is appreciated, thank you to all who do. Current savings: 393$/1700$
Outside of the absurdity of this gaggle of goons, I find it quite humorous that everyone around this cabinet table is now completely implicated in supporting Trump's pedophilia. They always were, but he sucked them further in with these optics. #politics
An analysis finds Chinese firms aim to buy 115K+ US-sanctioned Nvidia H100 and H200 chips for 39 data centers across China's western deserts, mostly in Xinjiang (Bloomberg)
Google continues the industry-wide trend of jamming AI down users' throats, making it difficult or impossible to opt out, and potentially endangering the privacy of communications: neowin.net/guides/google-can-n…
Google has released a feature that allows Gemini to access third-party apps, such as WhatsApp, even if you've turned off Gemini Apps Activity. Here's how to prevent that from happening.
I've already removed Gemini via adb once. I'll do it again if it comes back after this forced opt-in.
I am not going to tell anyone that the Gemini app package is actually called com.google.android.apps.bard. I am also not advising anyone to follow these instructions:
1. Download and install ADB on your computer from the Android SDK Platform-Tools package
2. Enable Developer Options on your Android device:
3. Go to Settings > About phone > Software information
4. Tap "Build Number" seven times
5. Go to Settings > Developer options > USB debugging
6. Connect your Android device to your computer using a USB cable
7. Open Command Prompt or Terminal in the folder where ADB is installed
8. Verify the connection via command prompt or terminal by running the command: adb devices
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Mike
Unknown parent • • •