I don’t even know what an affirming Friday post is, and I probably never will. (I’m not asking you to explain)
it feels like I’ve come to some really amazing place of beauty in the world that I get to see for the first time, only to look down at a pile of discarded beer cans and cigarette butts.
I’m sorry people are assholes, I hope you can have a great weekend and not let them get to you.
a lot of folks say that, if you put yourself in the public eye, you should have thick skin.
While I don't think that's necessarily unhelpful, I think it's a sorry state of affairs that that's a requirement; people should be able to live their lives and not be harrassed regardless of their level of public image.
I'm sorry you have to put up with this just to share your passion and knowledge.
Sorry to read this; just so you know, I did notice that I hadn't seen your affirmation post and I wondered about that. I have enjoyed your presentations. Know that your work has helped me. Best wishes from another Minneapolitan.
For what it's worth, the silent majority of us love and appreciate the vibes and care you bring to the community. I hope the goblins don't break ya down too hard
I'll start this by saying I know this isn't a "solution" since there isn't one as it's a core design issue, but it might help take some load off of your plate.
You should ask the mods of my instance if you can copy or sync with their block list or something. I don't know if they'd be willing or how you'd even go about doing it but the instance I'm on is super on top of things and gets rid of those problematic instances very quickly.
Seriously, every one of your posts has always appeared squeaky clean to me. I didn't realize that was why at first until I looked at your posts on your instance and saw a bunch of shitty comments from people that I couldn't see on my instance.
can you choose which instances you federate with, or is it a system where you federate openly with every instance of ActivityPub, and have to filter off the bad ones as they pop up?
@lucyllewy 😕you saying that reminded me that one of the biggest reasons I left Twitter was because I found myself doing exactly that, spending most of my time on the site playing whack-a-troll, and it’s kind of shit that Mastodon’s “federation” still results in having to play whack-a-troll but with different controls x_x
"You just want a billboard, you don't want to see negative comments"
I get "negative comments" every day from men when I don't pay attention to them. I get those comments online and offline, in virtually any setting you can imagine.
What I want is a place in this world that's free from that. And this place - the fediverse - isn't it.
I am a guy, and I don't understand the mentality of guys that do this. (Why in the world is it "fun" for them?) I have to, unfortunately, accept the fact that people like this exist and they will be wherever other people are -- until something fundamentally changes, but I don't know what that something is.
Not at all as awful as what happen(s/ed) to you but I have seen a little of this mentality; first month I was here I got some weirdo who 100% seriously argued that the 1st amendment made blocking illegal, and especially the fact that he would not be able to see what I post after being blocked since it was "his right" to see everything everyone posts...
I'm so tired of seeing people I follow being harassed and pushed over and complaining over and over again that the platform they're contributing to makes it so hard to minimally protect them. Life is hard as it is.
I've been in and out of twitter and mastodon before exactly because of this. If this platform doesn't protect their creators what's the point of being here? I just don't think this (fediverse and social media in general) is worth it. I miss webrings! I miss people having their own digital castle where they controlled every aspect of their interaction with the world. I miss your posts in vkc.sh, you seemed way happier there and in control of (almost) everything.
I'm sure people that followed you from twitter to mastodon would gladly just use your site, having an rss line from you reminding me to call someone I love would be so many times better than the most "inclusive" social media, because I would just know that you would be so more comfortable with it there, without the weight of social media on your back.
There is not a single person in mastodon that wishes that mastodon wouldn't exist, that wishes that people would simply blog or vlog with the people that they want without intermediaries, without the necessity of moderation and moderators, I think this technology already exists, and it's about time people to realize that social media it's just something were forcing ourselves to think:"this is actually really good". It's not. It was never meant to be good or make good.
I think Mastodon and/or other activitypub frontends should take a page from xmpp. On xmpp, some servers use a real-time block list module with a centralized subscription. If a user gets reported enough (generally only takes a couple of trusted community members reporting them) then they get added to the list. Every server that the uses the module will automatically start blocking that user. An instance could ignore other instances that don't use the same blocklist subscription
Sorry this had to happen to you. Maybe you could switch to purely uni-directional broadcast on your work profile (even having it automated or handled by a media manager) and have a more personal account under a nickname. Even minor celebrity seem to be a drag...
@seindal No, because it happens with any kind of message. If I just post all messages as "followers only" then I'm losing reach, which is a big point of the fediverse.
it’s unlikely but not impossible that these jerks could be tracked down in real life and that someone could give them a visit and a “talking to.”
They think it’s fun because they are horrible people and there are no negative repercussions. If someone shows up on their porch and only talks with them (or their parents), and makes it clear that next time it will be more than a talk, they may find something else to do.
People say that the fediverse has "anti-viral" features - for example, that there is no algorithm other than people's own boosts that promote specific content and make it go viral.
I think this is not really correct.
I have actually come to understand that what this *really* means is that the fediverse *does* have features that chase off people who *do* "go viral"/have a large following. Exactly like you've identified here.
This sucks.
I am happy here, with my fairly small account, but it makes me unhappy that people with actual large reach are not.
It's a people to people web, so huge accounts can't and don't talk back, so can't be "native" to this #opwnweb path we take. So it's not a question of choice, rather a question of path if that makes sense 😀
Might be useful to think about this as being #blind to thinking outside our current #dotcons path, thus bring it into the #openweb reboot.
You are entitled to receive basic human decency, and respect. Nobody deserves garbage juice drinking chuds ruining their engagement experience as a creator either.
don't mute, block. Mute is when you can't see them, but they still can see you and your posts. It is like putting on a blindfold to cope with people pissing in your vegetable garden.
Mute is really only for media stars who want any engagement from anybody, but don't want to see it from some people because it upsets them. It let's your followers argue with each other without seeing the worst of it.
BLOCK. Block stops the blocked from seeing your future posts. They can't follow anymore.
By golly! You're right!: Mastodon needs a comment moderation (and locking) for posts. That is a gaping big hole through which harassment can wheedle itself in right there. We have to be able to stop arseholes from messing with our posts in the comments.
I know: a technical solution to a human problem, but as long as we cannot fix those horrid humans...
Edit: turns out it is being discussed for, among other things, the reasons that affected you:
Most blogging systems and some social networks like Dribbble (possibly Instagram?) have a “disable comments/replies” feature. I wonder if it could be of use in Mastodon? Adding a “Disable replies” ...
I am so sorry that mastodon is a hostile environment for you. I'm an old unix guy, and I really enjoy l your videos on YouTube, and your posts here: they're funny, they're happy, they're approachable, and they're technically very good.
I hope you find a way to stay here that works for you, but if you can't that's an indictment of Mastodon not a failure on your part, and I'll look forward to continuing to follow you elsewhere.
I have a solution. You have to call out these guys for their "social media masturbation". Afterall, what is masturbation? A behavior that makes you feel good, but does not do any good for anyone else The concept is more fully explored here: cwellens.blogspot.com/2024/08/…
I refuse to believe sane people behave like that. I chalk it up to chaos-friendly entities intentionally sowing division. Or mental children who have not yet learned how to live in society. I know it doesn't mean much, but you have my full 100% support for you to be you. - Peace and love from northeast Kansas, USA, Earth, System of Sol, Milky Way galaxy, Local Galaxy Group, Virgo Supercluster. (Edit: Fixed the misspelling)
I know that @thisismissem is working on trust & safety tools for mastodon, I wonder if she has any thoughts on what tools can help with this problem or if others are working on them?
People suck, and that's my contention. I can prove it on a scratch paper and pen. Give me a fucking Etch-a-sketch, I'll do it in three minutes. The proof, the fact, the factorum. I'll show my work, case closed. I'm tired of this back-slapping "Aren't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are.
I really wish Mastodon would allow a followers-only reply feature. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. And more sorry for the inevitable replies about how great the fediverse is from white men who don’t experience this.
Bridget
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •warthog9
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Ian Scott :apple_inc: 🐙
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Benjamin Fry
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •I don’t even know what an affirming Friday post is, and I probably never will. (I’m not asking you to explain)
it feels like I’ve come to some really amazing place of beauty in the world that I get to see for the first time, only to look down at a pile of discarded beer cans and cigarette butts.
I’m sorry people are assholes, I hope you can have a great weekend and not let them get to you.
Gaurav Vaidya
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Jakub Iwanowski :bash:
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Cefr
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •rustybikes 🐧
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Root Moose
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •C.B.Leslie
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Drawinz
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •:blahaj: Why Not Zoidberg? 🦑
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Kuro
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Phil
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Inaction Figure
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •I’m so sorry that happened. People are horrible.
<affirmation>
Except for you. You ROCK, and
good job being you this week!</affirmation>
Max
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Keep on rocking! 😀
Veronica Explains
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •I'm sorry if I've seemed so down lately, folks.
With notoriety comes attacks, I guess. I was hoping the fediverse would feel different, but it's just not.
filobus reshared this.
nadja
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •sadmac356
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Chris P. :trek_ds9_sisko:#1️⃣
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •a lot of folks say that, if you put yourself in the public eye, you should have thick skin.
While I don't think that's necessarily unhelpful, I think it's a sorry state of affairs that that's a requirement; people should be able to live their lives and not be harrassed regardless of their level of public image.
I'm sorry you have to put up with this just to share your passion and knowledge.
Bruce MacDonald
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Cyanide Sampler
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •xmanmonk
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Veronica Explains
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Since a few of you have asked, I'll just explain what happened this time.
I posted an affirming message like I do every Friday, with a message like "call someone you miss".
Folks in the comments started sexually harassing me, and when someone pushed back, the harassers said that they have fun harassing me.
My favorite* part of this is that because I'd blocked them, they could carry on talking about how fun it is to harass me and I couldn't see it.
---
* I don't love this
reshared this
Neil Brown reshared this.
Veronica Explains
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •"But Veronica, it's defederated, so there's nothing we can do about that"
I know. That's why I'm saying maybe this place isn't fun for a woman with a following.
Lucy Llewellyn 🏳️⚧️
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Veronica Explains
in reply to Lucy Llewellyn 🏳️⚧️ • • •@lucyllewy but that won't help with the next one, and the next one, and the next one.
I don't want to play whack-a-troll 24 hours a day.
Oblomov reshared this.
Remy :verified_root:
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •I'll start this by saying I know this isn't a "solution" since there isn't one as it's a core design issue, but it might help take some load off of your plate.
You should ask the mods of my instance if you can copy or sync with their block list or something. I don't know if they'd be willing or how you'd even go about doing it but the instance I'm on is super on top of things and gets rid of those problematic instances very quickly.
Seriously, every one of your posts has always appeared squeaky clean to me. I didn't realize that was why at first until I looked at your posts on your instance and saw a bunch of shitty comments from people that I couldn't see on my instance.
reshared this
Carlo Gubitosa :nonviolenza: e Oblomov reshared this.
Veronica Explains
in reply to Remy :verified_root: • • •Mark W. Alexander
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •@lucyllewy
This is exactly why we need to implement the #EvilBit.
/s, but wistfully
ietf.org/rfc/rfc3514.txt
Pope Bob
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •can you choose which instances you federate with, or is it a system where you federate openly with every instance of ActivityPub, and have to filter off the bad ones as they pop up?
@lucyllewy
Dentaku (Thomas Renger)
in reply to Pope Bob • • •@bobdobberson Mastodon as a server software supports both modes of operation, but it's a decision on server level.
docs.joinmastodon.org/admin/co…
@vkc @lucyllewy
Configuring your environment
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MedusaSkirt
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Veronica Explains
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •"You just want a billboard, you don't want to see negative comments"
I get "negative comments" every day from men when I don't pay attention to them. I get those comments online and offline, in virtually any setting you can imagine.
What I want is a place in this world that's free from that. And this place - the fediverse - isn't it.
reshared this
filobus reshared this.
Steve Dinn
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •I am a guy, and I don't understand the mentality of guys that do this. (Why in the world is it "fun" for them?) I have to, unfortunately, accept the fact that people like this exist and they will be wherever other people are -- until something fundamentally changes, but I don't know what that something is.
I'm sorry that women have to experience this.
:blahaj: Why Not Zoidberg? 🦑
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Entitled commenters are entitled.
Not at all as awful as what happen(s/ed) to you but I have seen a little of this mentality; first month I was here I got some weirdo who 100% seriously argued that the 1st amendment made blocking illegal, and especially the fact that he would not be able to see what I post after being blocked since it was "his right" to see everything everyone posts...
Yeah I did block him about 2 seconds later.
:blahaj: Why Not Zoidberg? 🦑
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Jonathan Kamens
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •argv minus one
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Just Carlos will do
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Just Carlos will do
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Just Carlos will do
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Just Carlos will do
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •LA Legault 🍉
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •@adelinej
Seconded.
Maddad ☑️
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Masked Witch
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Alain Dellepiane :eit: :pm:
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Maybe you could switch to purely uni-directional broadcast on your work profile (even having it automated or handled by a media manager) and have a more personal account under a nickname. Even minor celebrity seem to be a drag...
criley :manjaro:
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Misha Van Mollusq 🏳️⚧️ ♀
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Mx. Sky Barnes :verified420:
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Amandine B (She/Her)
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •René Seindal
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •I'm less of an expert than you are, but could it help to mark that kind of messages as followers only?
It wouldn't help grow your reach, but it might help grow community in a slightly more sheltered space.
Veronica Explains
in reply to René Seindal • • •Simon Green
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Bongmaster
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •BlueTeamSherpa :verified:
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •it’s unlikely but not impossible that these jerks could be tracked down in real life and that someone could give them a visit and a “talking to.”
They think it’s fun because they are horrible people and there are no negative repercussions. If someone shows up on their porch and only talks with them (or their parents), and makes it clear that next time it will be more than a talk, they may find something else to do.
Steven Hilton
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Rob Ricci
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •People say that the fediverse has "anti-viral" features - for example, that there is no algorithm other than people's own boosts that promote specific content and make it go viral.
I think this is not really correct.
I have actually come to understand that what this *really* means is that the fediverse *does* have features that chase off people who *do* "go viral"/have a large following. Exactly like you've identified here.
This sucks.
I am happy here, with my fairly small account, but it makes me unhappy that people with actual large reach are not.
witchescauldron
in reply to Rob Ricci • • •@ricci
It's a people to people web, so huge accounts can't and don't talk back, so can't be "native" to this #opwnweb path we take. So it's not a question of choice, rather a question of path if that makes sense 😀
Might be useful to think about this as being #blind to thinking outside our current #dotcons path, thus bring it into the #openweb reboot.
james
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Bit_form
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •fuck that bullshit. I am so sorry.
You are entitled to receive basic human decency, and respect. Nobody deserves garbage juice drinking chuds ruining their engagement experience as a creator either.
Urban Hermit
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •don't mute, block. Mute is when you can't see them, but they still can see you and your posts. It is like putting on a blindfold to cope with people pissing in your vegetable garden.
Mute is really only for media stars who want any engagement from anybody, but don't want to see it from some people because it upsets them. It let's your followers argue with each other without seeing the worst of it.
BLOCK. Block stops the blocked from seeing your future posts. They can't follow anymore.
Dan Neuman
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Vincent :coffeecup:
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Jakub Iwanowski :bash:
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •*The* Paul Brown
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •By golly! You're right!: Mastodon needs a comment moderation (and locking) for posts. That is a gaping big hole through which harassment can wheedle itself in right there. We have to be able to stop arseholes from messing with our posts in the comments.
I know: a technical solution to a human problem, but as long as we cannot fix those horrid humans...
Edit: turns out it is being discussed for, among other things, the reasons that affected you:
github.com/mastodon/mastodon/i…
“Disable replies” feature · Issue #8565 · mastodon/mastodon
GitHubCarl
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •The Fediverse, like all social media (and all social institutions) is made of people.
I wish I had better news.
Dale Hagglund
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •I am so sorry that mastodon is a hostile environment for you. I'm an old unix guy, and I really enjoy l your videos on YouTube, and your posts here: they're funny, they're happy, they're approachable, and they're technically very good.
I hope you find a way to stay here that works for you, but if you can't that's an indictment of Mastodon not a failure on your part, and I'll look forward to continuing to follow you elsewhere.
John Timaeus
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Claudius Link
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Chris Wellens
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Social Media Masturbation
cwellens.blogspot.comScott J.
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Step Schwarz
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Matt Panhans
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •NedMan 🚀
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •baconandcoconut
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •Tim Hergert
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •People suck, and that's my contention. I can prove it on a scratch paper and pen. Give me a fucking Etch-a-sketch, I'll do it in three minutes. The proof, the fact, the factorum. I'll show my work, case closed. I'm tired of this back-slapping "Aren't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are.
--Bill Hicks.
tom jennings
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •LA Legault 🍉
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •mabs
in reply to Veronica Explains • • •