I ghosted someone I was dating once, when I was younger. I tried to explain why I broke up with them several times, then finally stopped responding because they were getting repeatedly aggressive.

I've been ghosted a couple times. One of those times scarred me really badly, and I still panic when folx I'm dating disappear without giving me a heads up first.

No, but I'v been ghosted a lot.

When I get ghosted, can I call the ghost busters?

Making sure an old man doesn't misunderstand... I have cut off all contact with people and disappeared from their lives... but never without talking to them first. I *think* that wasn't ghosting, but if it was, then I have.

I'm also a bad friend and am easy to lose contact with, but there's not intent there. I'm just a self-absorbed asshole who forget to take other people into account.

Sensitive content Clicca per aprire/chiudere

Yes, accidentally (thanks AuDHD) and after knowing him for several years. We were friends in college, and I tried to keep the connection going after we graduated, but after exchanging a few messages, I got stuck on a response, and the longer I went without saying anything, the more stressful it got for me, so I eventually just let it go.

I did reconnect with him a few months ago, but when I suggested we take the conversation off LinkedIn (I know, I know), he stopped responding.

It is possible there are some people on dating apps who feel like I ghosted them after a little conversation, but my feeling would have been more like "this conversation died of natural causes, and I don't feel like resurrecting it."

I did, unintentionally (yay for ADHD) and also intentionally.

It was a, let's call it unhealthy, relationship and they kept overstepping boundaries.

I saw no other way.

Other times (yes plural) is because I simply did not wish to spend any spoons on them anymore.

But mostly, ADHD. So if I ever not get in touch feel free to remind me. I can get stuck in my own head

I have chosen ghosting when I learned someone was lying to me or doing shit behind my back - they don't deserve closure or the spoons it would cost me to say good-bye gracefully, and I already don't trust them by then so why would I put myself at risk like that for their sake?

But the one that makes me feel bad is when I have been the one carrying a relationship the way we autistics have to do with allistics much of the time, always having to be the one to instigate getting together and doing everything on their terms. Sometimes I reach the point of wondering if they really want to spend time with me at all or are reluctantly agreeing to hang out when I bug them enough, so I decide to wait and see how long it will take for them to instigate something so I know they actually want to get together. So far I have a 0% success rate. People just don't seem to care to make the effort. Sometimes that feels like I've ghosted them, but sometimes it feels the opposite.

@joshsusser I have the issue of getting so many messages that those who don't keep reaching out end up disappearing into the sea of ones who do initiate contact.

There are a bunch of folx I try hard to keep in regular contact with, and a much larger group that I love hearing from, and will totally respond to, but often don't initiate with because I have limited time to proactively reach out to so many people.