That makes over 56 €/kg!

For that price I pretend a wild halibut caught in the Midwest!

Here is someone trying to bribe Fiorello La Guardia with a 300 lbs halibut in 1939:

commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Fil…

File:Fiorello LaGuardia with halibut.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

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"Say you love me" - Simply Red

Could do, but I'd be lying.

#TOTP #SimplyRed

"A little girl with a woman's voice", claims Jo Whiley. [checks calendar] Corks, we'll see Swindon's finest doctor at the start of next month.

Anyway, here's another chance to see "How do I live" performed by Leann Rimes.

#TOTP #LeannRimes

"Life ain't easy" - Cleopatra

That is superb close-harmony singing from the trio. And there's the shuffle-beat, and the slightly melancholic minor key to the song.

Sure, they're dressed for Tweens Like You (TM), and the sound felt dated as soon as the year didn't begin with "1", but this song is really very good.

#TOTP #Cleopatra

"Gone till november" - Wyclef Jean

Mr. Jean must have bumped into the All Saints in the dressing rooms, and somehow ended up wearing one of their camouflage jackets.

The radio edit was all melodic and dramatic, none of this rapping. Wyclef is a great live performer, but I wonder how many casual viewers this will have attracted.

#TOTP #WyclefJean

"Night fever" - Adam Garcia

From the latest West End performance of "Grease".

Mr. G is on a massive disco floor, with a silver satin shirt draped around his body. Three couples gyrate on the dance floor behind him, and massive coloured lights pulse on the video screens.

Flick Colby earned her crust this week.

#TOTP #AdamGarcia

"Turn back time" - Aqua

Lene with the costume of *every* trans catgirl who keeps the internet running - long hair dyed black at the back, scarlet at the front, all over a barely-there and perfectly demure top-and-skirt combo.

Props to the tambourine player repping the Maple Leafs.

#TOTP #Aqua

"Dance the night away" - The Mavericks

Another chance to enjoy the huge band, all squeezed onto the smallest corner stage.

Gawp at the brass quartet playing each other's instruments! Shriek as the bass is tuned by the drummer's stick! Chortle as the keyboardist is modulated by a guitarist.

And tap your foot to the gentle sunny song!

#TOTP #TheMavericks

"Last thing on my mind" - Steps

Ah, this performance I remember, the one where they're all in white and get a nice big stage to prance about on.

See, they let five-piece Steps use a stage the size of Wembley Stadium, and cram The Mavericks into the Broom Cupboard. What gives?

#TOTP #Steps

"Where are you" - Imaani

Whatever happened to Imaani? Stayed in the music industry, including a top twenty cover of "Freak like me" - if only she'd set it to a Gary Numan song, eh.

Imaani later worked with the funk-jazz combo Incognito, and released a few soulful tunes.

She's happy to perform at Eurovision concerts, and quite rightly so.

#TOTP #Imaani

"Kung fu fighting" - Bus Stop ft Carl Douglas

From a Eurovision legend to Daz Sampson, who takes the riff from a classic tune, speeds it up, adds a banging beat, and tops the mix with a rap worthy of Wyclef Jean.

Carl Douglas, the original singer, is also on stage to mime the "whoa-oh-oh"s.

Imaani finished second in her Eurovision; Daz will barely make the top twenty in eight years' time.

#TOTP #BusStop

"Stranded" - Lutricia McNeal

You may remember how a subtle video effect made Five Star pop out of the screen twelve years ago.

Here, a gratuitous video effect - removing most of the red from the picture - is completely unconvincing, and makes the visuals look entirely naff.

Which is a shame, because Lutricia has some of the greatest soul pipes we've heard tonight. This song deserved better.

#TOTP #LutriciaMcNeil

"Feel it" - The Tamperer ft Maya

"What's she gonna look like with a chimney on her?" Changing Rooms was absolutely off their face that week!

Anyway, I promised an explanation of the samples. You'll probably know "Can you feel it" by The Jacksons, which does most of the heavy lifting - the chugging backbeat, the chorus's lift and flourishes.

youtu.be/lrKZNqIR2U0

#TOTP #TheTamperer #Maya

"Feel it" - The Tamperer ft Maya

The lyric comes from "Wanna drop a house (on that bitch)" by Urban Discharge, a pumpy-thumpy hard house tune from 1995 which achieved reasonable success in clubs.

Original vocal was by "She", later known as Heather Leigh West; she remained active in the dance scene into the 2010s.

youtu.be/n2Zc6RJTJoE

#TOTP #TheTamperer #Maya

"The heroes" - Shed Seven

I was going to make a crack about how this band had a lineup of Caramel, Dairy Milk, Twirl, Wispa, and The Eclair That's Always The Last One Left In The Box.

Except that the chocolate heroes won't be launched until next year. Bother.

Still more interesting than this indie landfill.

#TOTP #ShedSeven #Cadburys

"Under the bridge", "Lady mamalade" - All Saints

Having lost their combat jackets to Wyclef Jean last week, the Saints are on a little podium in the middle of the crowd, which gives some unusual shots and clear sightlines.

Less convinced by the shot direction, at one point panning along the line so that we're looking at Saints waiting for their cue.

And, just when we're worried they'll stop, they play both sides of the song.

More #TOTP at 9.50 with Dame Jakki Brambles.

#AllSaints

"Insanity" - Oceanic

Jorinde is the singer, David and Frank on the keyboards. I have no clue who the goons dancing are.

"Insanity" was the apotheosis of happy house, uplifting music with a fast beat. Massive in the north, huge in Scotland, but derided in That London. If you wanted to hear this, you had to buy the single, radio would not play it.

#TOTP #Oceanic

"Charly" - The Prodigy

Last year, we saw the show from two weeks earlier, so quite a few songs might ring a few bells.

This one was huge in the South, so Radio 1 played it to death. Of course.

#TOTP #TheProdigy

"Be young, be foolish, be happy" - Sonia

The Sensational Epics is the answer to "who wrote this"; The Tams "who had the hit".

The song's been used in many adverts - bus passes, holidays and Persil washing powder. Which explains why Sonia's in (er) all black.

#TOTP #Sonia

"Let's talk about sex" - Salt & Pepa

Here's the video.

Few rappers have one signature hit, something remembered through the ages. This group have *two*, we can all recognise "Push it".

#TOTP #SaltNPepa