February 16th 2026

Dear Mr. President,

Today is the third Monday of February, and that means it’s Presidents’ Day. As such, I wanted to take the time to give you my appreciation.

First of all, you are the architect behind the Monroe Doctrine. While you may be saddened to learn of the bastardization of the policy under our current administration, it was the Monroe Doctrine which paved the way for the very idea of a good neighbor policy. Without the commitment to keeping European powers from new colonial ventures, we don’t lead to FDR trying to implement his own good neighbor policy in the 1930s.

We haven’t been perfect neighbors (saying the very least and putting it lightly), but the Monroe Doctrine remains an important piece in getting to that true status of good neighbor.

Even as President, your Pan-American efforts were stifled by a Jacksonian congress. We recognize your efforts to build relations with our neighbors on the Américan continent and appreciate what you attempted to do.

Without your push for a more unified and diplomatically friendly relationship with our southern neighbors, the United States Pirate Party itself may not have Pan-Americanism in our platform.

But Mr. President, you must admit: you ultimately didn’t do much as President. It isn’t your fault, per se. But rather, circumstances. You came from an elite family and your seemingly corrupt bargain with Henry Clay cost you your reputation and the presidency. A lesser man might have been remembered as the man who stole the election from Andrew Jackson (a position I do not hold).

You are not remembered for your presidency. It is what you did afterwards that I find so remarkable.

Unusual for its time, and still unusual today, you ran for congress and went to DC after already having lost your reelection bid for President.

For the modern mind, imagine if Jimmy Carter lost to Reagan in 1980, then decided to run for the House of Representatives in 1982 and won. That would be strange, right?

That’s exactly what John Quincy Adams did.

What did you do in your new position? You became slavery’s loudest opponent. You ruffled so many feathers that they implemented a gag rule just to keep you from speaking on the matter.

Still, you would get around it. You were unwavering in your beliefs and you were persistent.

Even on your dying day, you stood alone in your condemnation of the unjust Mexican-American War. You maintained your values and were a fighter to the very end.

I could sit here and talk about the great man you were. I could talk about the Amistad case, where you successfully defended the enslaved mutineers of La Amistad and helped secure their freedom.

You were among the first to hop aboard the Anti-Masonic Party (the first major third party), which you declared was driven by your belief that they were trying to secretly control the government and swearing hidden oaths to each other. To me, that reads as a commitment to openness and transparency.

You helped created the Smithsonian, which I believe speaks for itself.

But on this day, I want to not only recognize you, but thank you. I believe you are exemplary of the idea that greatness can come from anywhere. Great individuals can come from any walk of life. Whereas someone like Henry George was great and came from humble beginnings, you prove that labels such as “nepo baby” or “Northeast elite” ≠ “not a great individual.”

You, a President’s son, proved your greatness not as President yourself, but through your commitment to what you believed in and the just causes for which you fought.

You believed in abolition on the greatest and truest extension of “all men are created equal”. You opposed the secrecy and lack of transparency from the Freemason ruling class. You stood firmly behind what we’d call today anti-imperial and Pan-American beliefs.

Mr. President, if you were alive today, I believe you’d be a member of the United States Pirate Party.

But since I can’t prove that, this will have to do: a letter professing my appreciation for you, and publicly declaring you to be the most Pirate President we have ever had.

Thank you for all you did for your country, especially after you were President. May your legacy receive the honor it deserves. Today, we give you the flowers you deserve.

Sincerely Yours,
Jolly Mitch
Captain of the United States Pirate Party

uspirates.org/love-letter-jqa/